By Janet Stoica

Just the thought of anyone laying a hand on their spouse, be it woman or man, makes my blood boil. So much so that it shocks me that my anger could be so intense. Then, I remember it’s because I was told about this evil behavior from my mom’s childhood. I have never seen anyone display such criminal behavior to anyone in my family. My parents were always good to each other and set good examples for my brother and me. They had their arguments but never raised a finger to the other. 

I was told, however, of an absolutely horrible experience that happened to my maternal grandmother when she was set upon by my maternal grandfather, Wladyslaw Nawrocki.

When I think of that event which happened when my mom was a young girl playing in the backyard with her three siblings, I am right there with them and I can imagine myself standing by my mother’s side and holding her and rescuing my grandmother, Felicia, after that ugly traumatizing scenario occurred. My grandfather died well before I was born into this world but I always told my mother that if I had been alive during that horrible wife-battering episode I would surely have killed him myself. 

My grandfather was a widower in the early 1900’s. He had lost his first wife and had fathered many children with her. She must’ve been the saint of all saints, God bless her.  Wladyslaw was an officer in the Kosciusko Society of Webster still in existence on Lake Street/Dresser Street known as Bush Hall. He was a dandy as they would say in the 1920s. A very meticulously dressed guy who always had the nicest appearance and from what I can tell from old photos, he was very good looking. But under that façade, his home environment was the complete opposite of what he portrayed to outsiders. He was gruff, demanding, and surely unlovable. My mom (who was the oldest child of his second family) said that he would have my grandmother, Felicia, make him steaks and such while she and her siblings would have bread soaked in milk for their meals. 

He was born in Germany/Prussia to an unwed mother and his father was a high-level officer in the Prussian Cavalry. Wladyslaw’s father took care of his son sending him to a military academy where he learned how to be an officer as well. He spoke German and Polish.

My grandmother, Felicia, emigrated from Poland with her niece in the early 1900s during the great waves of immigrants when the doors to this country were always open to immigrants. My grandmother’s niece, Josephine, was intent on finding my grandmother a suitable spouse and came upon Mr. Nawrocki. My grandmother always said she was mesmerized by my grandfather during their courting but after marrying him she realized who he truly was, a bombastic and overbearing man. It was too late. Three babies were born one after another for three years in a row. Three sisters and then a few years later, my uncle.

Felicia protected her children from my grandfather as best she could. When he arrived home from his watchman’s job at the Stevens Linen Mills, the children were told to be quiet and not speak as they lay in their beds lest they disturb Wladyslaw. If it was the weekend, then the liquor would appear after he arrived home from Bush Hall. His alcohol-infused behavior was atrocious. Such a nice guy, everyone said, he helped us write letters home to Germany and Poland. What a nice guy.

Then, his full fury was unleashed on a mid-summer’s day as my eight-year-old mom and her siblings were playing happily in their backyard. Wladyslaw made a demand to my grandmother who back-talked him. That was unacceptable to him. In a few long strides he was standing in front of her and unleased a punch to her chest that sent her reeling backwards into the bathroom where she smashed the back of her head against the wall. My grandmother was a beautiful and statuesque woman who I’m convinced was a happy and wonderful woman before she married Wladyslaw. After Felicia composed herself and tried to catch her breath, she managed to get to the backdoor of the attic apartment they lived in and called out for my mom who came running to her in a flash. “I flew up those back stairs,” my mom always said. The damage my grandfather’s punch had done was horrific. A huge bruise on my grandmother’s chest that also appeared straight through to her back. Her head was not in good shape either. That’s all I remember from my mom’s narrative. 

My grandmother, however, somehow managed to have a court hearing where the judge advised my grandfather to stay away from the family. He ended up living in one of their home’s other apartments in one separate room and was banned from going near my grandmother. My grandmother took in laundry to meet expenses. Felicia (Dzienisewicz) Nawrocki was a woman before her time, she is my Hero, she was brave, she was a fabulous mother and protector of her children, she was a Survivor. Because of her ability to deal with evil, she has passed on her strength and intestinal fortitude to me. I attribute my own honesty and integrity to her. My ability to overcome the most unfortunate of circumstances. I could never put up with this kind of corrupt behavior and I would never expect anyone else to. 

According to Sydney Hyer of the Coalition Against Domestic Violence “The origins of the Battered Women’s Movement is in the early 1900s. Up to this point, men were allowed legally to beat their wives. Even the Supreme Court had argued against forms of protection for wives, claiming it would lead to false accusations. The movement was able to gain support at the same time as the American Temperance Movement. Alcohol and intoxication contributed to violence against women. Suffragettes like Elizabeth Cady Stanton favored temperance and thought it would reduce incidences of violence. The movement was also able to gain momentum when the government realized addressing violence against women would appease female citizens. The first step in the movement would be protecting these women within their own marriages. Alabama and Massachusetts were the first states to criminalize assaults by husbands against their wives in 1871, followed by North Carolina in 1874. Maryland even included legal consequences against offenders.”

No one, ever, ever, ever should accept violence from their spouse. You are human, you are awesome, and you are SOMEBODY!  If you find yourself in a horrible and violent situation please phone the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800) 799-7233. Please remove yourself from a horrible situation. Abby’s House of Worcester (508) 756-5486 will also help you with a safe space for you and your children along with many services to get you on your way to a new beginning. Don’t wait, don’t put up with abuse!  The porch light is on at Abby’s.